Written by Wild Boomer of Wild Boomer's Roadhouse and is used with permission.

1. Your girl asks you if you can move the bike so she can watch the t.v. better
2. You had to borrow a helmet to take a girl for a ride on your bike around the block from the bar and hit every bump in the road. (Remember the G string on the blonde)
3. You ever bought saddlebags so you can carry more beer.
4. Your girl follows you to the party with the car so you can take more beer.
5. Your best friends are named after animals.
6. Taking your girl on a cruise means puttin down the highway.
7. Your best shoes have steel toes.
8. You quit your job to go to Daytona.
9. You have motorcycle parts in the dishwasher.
10. Your idea of jewelry is chains & barbwire
11. You have your bike torn apart in your living room.
12. Sturgis is your dream vacation.
13. You name your bike " Shania ."
14. The plumber won't come back to replace the heater till you roll those damn bikes to the other end of the basement & drain the gas out of them so he can weld the pipes.
15. You can tell what kind of bugs they are by the taste of them.
16. You're only sunburned on the back of your hands.
17. You carry around a crushed beer can in the case of soft tar when you park the bike.
18. You know from painful experiance why you dont carry your wallet in your back pocket.
19. You pull your bike into the motel room & use a bath towel to wipe it off.
20. You call someone a wimp because they have a Blister on their thumb.
21. Return home from a long run & pass right by your house.
22. Your girl friend has to climb over the bike to do the laundry in the basement.
23. You think God invented winter so you can get the bike ready for Daytona.
24. You know how many teeth are on your rear sprocket & how much torque to use on your head bolts.
25. You started a BBQ with a welding torch.
26. You carry a picture of your bike in your wallet.
27. Any day you ride is a good day.
28. Your other vehicle is a truck with motorcycle ramps in it.
29. You get hit by a Taxi in N.Y.C., slide 80 yards & ride the bike home 30 miles with a factured hip.
30. You don't think its a good party till someone rides his or her bike in & does doughnuts in the living room.
31. You've been too drunk to Piss but not to drunk to ride your bike home.
32. Your three piece suit are Chaps, Leather Vests & a Leather Jacket.
33. You have a refrigerator in your garage just for beer.
34. Think Tequilia is a Sex Aide.
35. You wake up next to your girl & your first thought is if your bike will start.
36. Your kids learn to ride on theback of your bike before they can walk.
37. Your garage has more square footage than your house.
38. Your coffee table collapses from the weight of motorcycle magazines on it.
39. You thow a party and more bikes show up than cars.
40. Your kids take a motorcycle chain to Show & Tell .
41. All your ashtrays are pistons from your last engine rebuild.